What I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Boss
I was 26 years old when I led my first team. I was completely unprepared. My team was mostly older than me with decades more professional experience in recruiting and eons more life experience than me. While I had the graduate degree and a little bit of personal experience on my side when it came to access and equity work, I had to admit that I was hesitant to assert myself as their leader. There were numerous times I could have directed my team on the course of action that I truly felt was best. But because I was knew and younger, I told myself that it wasn’t the right time.
Moreover, when I closed my eyes to imagine myself as a boss, I was flooded with rigid tropes that didn’t quite fit my personality and budding leadership style. All I could picture was a boss who always came in early and stayed late, who was always on the move from meeting to meeting, and either had too little time for her team or overextended herself to give too much time to them and none to her personal life. I was lost.
As I sat with these ideas, I was forced to ask myself: where did they even come from? How did I get them? And more importantly, what’s a better alternative that doesn’t leave me burnout in the name of leadership? Some of the answers came to me immediately, others took many years in other roles and navigating nuanced situations to emerge. But what I eventually learned was that the most impactful bosses need clarity around these 3 questions:
Know the qualities you want to embody
Do you want to be the boss that is also a great mentor and champion? Do you want to be the boss who always finds ways to highlight the contributions of their team? Are you aiming to be known for leading through transitions and crises while keeping calm and grounded? Do a quick online search for qualities of a great boss and see what resonates with you.
Identify your accountability and support approach
Whether you’re digging more into your current role or job searching, this question will serve you well. I remember starting out professionally and having to complete annual performance reviews online. It always baffled me that there was no real opportunity to share feedback on my experience being managed by my boss. When I had my first chance, I created a 360 performance review for me and my teams. My point is this: feedback on your leadership matters. And the sooner you can embed it into your daily practice, the better you and your teams will be.
Think about your work boundaries
Any leadership role will demand more of your time, focus, and vitality. Give too much, and you’ll crash soon. Give too little and your teams and bottom line will suffer. Whether it’s a policy of no weekend emails or meetings, or proactively scheduling vacations before you need them, set yourself up for success by knowing which guardrails you need to be successful.
The Bottom Line
Whether you’re a long-time executive, team lead, or first-time manager, take a moment to check in with yourself about the kind of boss you want to be for yourself and others. Reflect on the kind of characteristics you want to exude in your leadership and be known for, figure out ways to build in accountability for your management style, and work on your work boundaries. Gaining clarity on these topics will lead to stronger trust and connection on your teams, and your mental health will thank you.
