Winning with Friends
This fall I had the pleasure of co-facilitating a client workshop with a long-time and dear friend of mine. This friend is someone I got to know on my first job after graduate school and whether it was the new professional chapter for the both of us, or the unique and wild ride of living in a rural town as Black women, our bond was built on an undeniable purpose and kinship.
Over the years, we have moved through different jobs, locations, romances, and family roles. Although we have evolved as adult women in the world, our foundational commitment to building community and championing for the underdogs remains impenetrable.
As we co-led a workshop on sustainable allyship, there were several moments that I was moved in ways that I did not expect. While the topic itself is timeless, the magnitude of allyship, community, and belonging through the whirlwind of 2025 struck me. Wildfires, immigration raids, DEI attacks, layoffs, hurricanes, human displacement and migration, hunger, and flat out authoritarian rule have dominated our lives. And yet, we held dedicated, careful, and actionable space for individuals still ready to be allies in a world that penalizes them for daring to.
Beyond the intensity of our collective impact of our survival this year, I was warmed by the behind the scenes moments of connection and trust with my friend. For those who may not be aware, co-facilitating is like a carefully choreographed dance of talking points, vibe checks, time management, technological mastery, and covert cues. When you have the right partner, the dance is fluid and seamless. When the chemistry is off, you get your feet stepped on and look clumsy.
During a break in the group discussion, I told my friend how I think we needed to proceed based on time and the group needs. She reiterated that she trusted my lead. She affirmed that I was doing a great job and that she was proud of me. And lastly, she expressed that she was there to make sure that I shined in my best light and delivered to the degree my clients deserved.
For me, this felt like an epic win. Here we were: from rural America to a major metropolitan city, decades of professional experience between us, guiding a conference room full of participants on how to stand up for others, and getting paid to do so. We won big because we were in our zone of power. We won big because we trusted ourselves and our connection enough to push each other during the early phases of content creation, to give each other tough feedback during rehearsals, and put our guards down to be our vibrant and dynamic selves throughout the experience. For me, there is no better feeling than winning with friends and loved ones. It’s a feeling I believe everyone deserves to experience.
The level of trust and connection between me and my friend is powerful. And of course it took many micro moments to build over the years. The experience got me thinking: wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could develop and deepen our trust with members of our team? What would it look, sound, and and feel like to be more confident in our collaborations because we knew the alignment and follow-through would always be there?
Some Questions for Reflection:
When was the last time you delivered on a promise to a colleague?
Who has demonstrated that they have your back?
What upcoming opportunities do you have to show up for a colleague in a meaningful way?
How can you reward trust at work?
