Building Community During Moments of Turbulence
I recently attended an event centered on creating community in times of chaos. It was a lovely gathering with over 50 attendees from extremely impressive professional backgrounds and lived experiences. It didn’t hurt that it was hosted on a picturesque day in Southern California--the time of year when fall fights to make its presence known amidst temperatures that invoke jealousy from the rest of the country.
As we gathered in small groups to share our approaches to finding and keeping our sanity during times of upheaval. Nearly everyone shared a story of how they redefined and refocused on their community. Whether referencing their neighborhood group chat, online book club, or going climbing with friends, community was the resounding answer to our collective anxieties about the unknown.
But there’s something about building community--at work and beyond--that can be scary to approach and move through. Sometimes those fears look like:
Being rejected by others
Getting the acts of community wrong and causing harm along the way
Not knowing where to start
Not having a clear or specific goal
Fear of feeling or looking silly in building relationships
This summer, I was navigating my own feelings of isolation and social disconnection. I had gone through a conflict with a colleague that left me questioning whether or not I truly belonged at my job-- a heartbreaking feeling as a director of culture and belonging. And while I had fun and occasional gatherings with colleagues, associates, and casual friends, I wasn’t experiencing the level of depth I longed for in my connections. It pained me to admit that I still hadn’t found my people.
So, after allowing myself to face my uncomfortable feelings, I took a risk. I pitched my favorite bookstore to host a creative writing group. Knowing firsthand how isolating writing can be, my vision was to have writers come together for consistent encouragement, community, and to get words on the page. I told myself that the worst the bookstore could say was no, and in that case, my life would continue unscathed. To my surprise, they were excited and supportive. Apparently, the owner had wanted a supportive space for creative writers to gather and work on projects, but wasn’t sure how to create it.
And to my delight, a group of talented and amazing screenwriters, young adult writers, bloggers, poets, essayists, comedy writers, and short story authors show up without fail every week. We check in with each other, hype each other up, give constructive critiques, and ask each other questions about our creative process. In a short amount of time, we have become our own little pillar of support.
As leaders, we sometimes take our ability to push forward for granted. Maybe we’ve seen too much or are used to living in survival mode. But it’s imperative to foreground connection for our teams and ourselves as we all move through our individual experiences or chaos, isolation, and even industry upheaval due to the current administration.
If you’re feeling stalled on building community at work and beyond, try these quick approaches:
Share something low-risk about yourself. Don’t scare your teams or colleagues by oversharing or revealing too much, too soon. Start small by sharing a goal, quick professional backstory, or even a work outlet of yours. Micro moments of vulnerability are proven to be magnets for connection.
Compliment someone for something you admire about them. Is your colleague great at leveraging ideas? Do they always make others feel seen and heard? Tell them! While words of affirmation aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, chances are high that being affirmed so genuinely--and specifically-- will cause someone to feel noticed and uniquely valued.
Offer support on a special project or work task. If a colleague has expressed overwhelm or stress on a particular project, offer to help out in a way that showcases your skills and talents but doesn’t burden you. People remember who shows up during their time of need.
Follow Through. Per tip number three, if you offer to help out, make sure that you deliver on your offer. Nothing breaks trust faster than broken promises.
Invite Them to Coffee (Or a Treat of Their Choice). When you feel enough trust has been established by repeating the previous steps over time, ask your team or colleagues out to coffee. Have 2-3 work questions in mind to start, but it’s okay to inquire more about who they are outside of work (interests, hobbies, playlists, etc.) Plus, everyone loves a special treat now and then.
The Bottom Line
Building community has its challenges, from the fear of rejection to not having a clear roadmap. But connection is essential to our individual and collective futures. During everyday “unprecedented times,” finding small ways to come together at work and in your personal life just may be what saves us.
